The time has come. I’m leaving my baby for three nights.
“How could you?”, they ask.
Well, I’m leaving my baby for 3 nights to go on an annual girls trip with my cousin and friends. No husband. No baby. Some may say it’s selfish. Some may think it’s unnecessary. I even contemplated those things 100 times over. But I came down to the realization that it is neither one.
I am going on a guilt free getaway because I know that I am a bad ass mom who deserves it.
You see, before I became a mom. I went through three stages of growing pains.
First, the childhood growing pains. Figuring out who I was and getting comfortable with me changing from a child into a young adult.
Then, I had the teen growing pains; the insecurities, the mean girls, the first love heart break.
And right when I thought all the pains were over and I had life figured out, I had my adult growing pains. The pains when life didn’t work out to my plan and I emotionally got lost. In those times, I had a some of the most wonderful “Angels on Earth” as I like to call them, pick me up. These people are my girls. I have been lucky enough to have this girl gang of friends who are the most supportive, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful, kind souls in the universe. Some of them are old friends, new friends, family, some are more like acquaintances that don’t even know how much they mean to me and to my growth as a women.
Growing up, my parents were pretty strict. My teen years and early twenties were very monitored and I always had a curfew. The only trip I went on with friends, my mom had to come too. My rules were followed all the way until after I got married and moved out of their house.
After I was married but had no children, was the first time I took a girls trip. My husband works a ton so he didn’t care because he wasn’t going to be home anyway and didn’t want me to miss the experiences seeing other places just because he couldn’t go. I didn’t really think it was strange either because my whole life my parents didn’t really have the same vacation style (besides our family trips) because my dad liked adventure and roughing it when my mom enjoyed luxury and relaxation. They would take their trips separate with friends and family. It just worked (side note, today is their 35th anniversary). Happy Anniversary mom and dad!
These trips I’ve gone on with my cousins, sister in law, and our friends have been some of the most fun, happy, and healing times for me. We laugh until we almost pee our pants (or maybe we do pee our pants), we get dolled up together, we eat good food, lounge at pools, go dance at night, and stay up late talking til our eyes hurt.
Nine months of pregnancy and six months of motherhood, I’m off to my first girls trip again.
I going to miss my angel baby so so much BUT I do not feel guilty because I deserve a little R&R/Me time. I went from a social butterfly always surrounded by people whether it was me at work as a hair stylist, managing my family restaurant, or going out with friends. My husband always teases me about how I can’t even go to a store without talking to strangers in the check out line. It’s just who I am, I’m social.
As a new mom, I have spent the past 6 months living a completely different life. One that is much better, much more rewarding but it’s different. Most days my call log is just my parents and husband to check in. I’ll go a whole day without actually talking to any other adults. Some days, I don’t even leave the house.
I used to organize my clothes in my closet, “dress up clothes” and “casual clothes”, all my dress up clothes took up the majority of the space because I dressed up for work and to go out. It was rare that I would be in casual street wear. Now, I’ve switched everything around because it’s less often I’ll be dressed up, and I now wear casual attire every day staying home with my son.
Funny-My cousin told me not to think too much about packing for this trip because she would be in athleisure attire the whole time. Instantly I was like, uhhh….I won’t be because that’s how I’m dressed every. single. day. I can’t wait to get dolled up and bust out my heels.
Don’t get me wrong, I really do love me as a mom more than me before motherhood but I do miss little things like talking with my girls, getting ready together, going out and laughing our butts off. I’m a huge music buff, I always know all the new music. Now, I really don’t because I’m not out hearing it at work, in the car, or in the clubs. I feel so out of the loop!!! I made fun of “old people” who didn’t know the jams and now I feel like one!
I feel guilt free because every single day of my life for the past 6 months I have catered every single minute of my day to my family’s needs. Willingly, I bend over backwards to make sure that their lives are happier, healthier, and more convenient even if it’s at my cost.
My husband runs a family business so he works long hours day, night, and weekends so he will not have our son during this time. Thankfully, I have awesome parents who live close by who adore my son and he adores them back. I feel so grateful for their bond and their love. I feel 100% comfortable with him there and know that many people wish they had their parents here to have this one of a kind relationship with their children. I know the bonding that they will get over those three nights will be huge and my parents will love it. They probably won’t want to give him back, lol!
I KNOW I will be a hot mess saying “see ya later” to my little one, I will miss him, I will feel like I’m physically missing part of me, but I know that I will be ok and so will he.
I feel like decisions like these can be so judged or guilty, but we have to remember that as parents and as married couples, we all have different needs for what makes our worlds work. This is what works for us.
I have a blog coming up for you guys that’s probably the most controversial (what I think and what I’ve gathered from asking around) and I’m going to have some pretty sweet give aways with it. Look out for it. It’s along the same lines of guilting or shaming.
I wanna know if/when was the first time you left your little ones for a guilt free getaway and how you handled it? Some of you maybe never have. Maybe you have no interest in it and that’s cool too. For those of you who have, how long did you wait and how did you feel? Were you initially sad but the trip was great? Or was it miserable the whole time?
Thank God if I’m a hot crying mess, I’m with some fabulous moms who will totally get it and help me through!
May you find joy in all of your Journey,
Leanne, Spoiled Milk Club