I find myself getting lost in my baby.
I look at his sweet baby face and wonder, who will you be?
Will you have my lack of patience or your dads abundance of patience? Will you be anxious like me or will you be calm like him? Will you be talkative like mommy or private like daddy?
The truth is, none of those things matter but there’s one thing that does, he has to be a good person.
Let’s be honest without getting too into it, our world can be extremely scary and dark right now.
I want my son to be GOOD. I want him to be a big bright light in even the darkest of places.
You cannot just say whatever you want because “it’s a free country”, you cannot back out of commitments just because you changed your mind, you don’t get a pass at a job because you want to be in extra curricular activities and you cannot treat others poorly because you think you’re better.
I do know one thing; anyone who wants to raise a GOOD human in this sometimes bad world, your child will already have a huge advantage of success as an adult. The competition for success is a lot less competitive with so many parents who don’t care about instilling this goodness in their children.
How do we do raise a good human?
We lead by example. The example that our parents, grandparents, and so forth gave us. Work for what you want, keep trying and learning, and remember you never know who you may be talking to and where that connection could lead you. And don’t always think about just that. Be the person who leads others to opportunities or connections if you can.
Let’s teach our kids by example to hold the door open, let the car pass you without frustration, say please and thank you. Let’s teach them to show up and once they do, give all their attention to what they’re doing and do their at hand task 100%.
For as long as I can remember, my dad has always asked me, “How do you know you’re not talking to Jesus right now?” “How do you know that homeless man asking for help wasn’t God?” “How do you know that little girl you were mean to isn’t His test to you”. I always stopped and thought, what if it was? Would I be proud of how I just treated that person or situation? Make a conscious effort to make sure your answer is always yes.
My parents have always taught me lessons through example, still today. My parents can afford luxurious things, they don’t always get them. And I certainly didn’t get them just because I was their daughter.
My parents weren’t persuaded by me saying, “well, everyone else has an American Doll”, “Laura’s parents got her a new car”, “I want that new bag”. They didn’t care what others had or were giving their kids, they cared if it was the right time, the purchase made sense, and most of all if it was deserved.
A lot of kids not only have the best of the best, but they have them in quanity. Some of their parents can’t even afford it, but they will do it simply just to make sure their kids fit in. I don’t want my kid to fit in, I want him to stand out.
Don’t get me wrong, there was plenty of times I did get the best gifts and was even a little spoiled. My parents knew I valued what I got, it wasn’t handed to me just because, and it was always threatened that if I didn’t take care of my things, it would be the last nice purchase I got.
Now as an adult, I still value my things. I think about my purchases, I research everything about them, know if I can actually afford it and decide if it’s the right time to get it.
The goodness in my heart and success of my adult life, I owe to my parents choices in parenting which I’m sure were not always easy.
My child wont always get the newest edition of something tangible but I hope he will understand through explaining to him the reasons why and trust me. I hope that he will learn to give to others and help a cause with extra money instead of wanting it all for himself.
I want him to work hard, be nice, appreciate everything, take chances, find a balance of taking life serious but enjoy it at the same time. When he hits (what he feels is) rock bottom I want him to pray harder than ever and know he will get back up.
I don’t know who my baby will be. I don’t care if he’s patient or not, anxious or calm, talkative or private but I want him to be good. I will (without a doubt) raise a good human in this world.
What is your “something” that’s really important to you for your child?
Find joy in all of your journey,