“When are you having a baby”…
Because I didn’t start this blog when I originally wanted to, right when I got pregnant to go through a step by step of that part of the journey, I’m going to back track a bit. Stay with me..
My husband pete & have been together for 10.5 years. We were dating for 6 years before marriage (yes, he waited 6 years to marry me). In these 6 years of dating of course we covered every topic of a future. The most important, children. We knew we wanted to be parents.
About 6 months before our wedding, we talked about a time frame for starting our family. We both agreed we wanted to start our family right away. We wanted a honeymoon baby.
I got off birth control right then because I believed that having it in my body for years would debilitate me from getting pregnant so was decided to cleanse my body of this drug.
I was a type A, get what I want, when I want it kind of chick. I thought that I could make anything happen if I wanted it to. HA. I should have known my “luck” was changing when my husband took 6 years to marry me when I wanted to marry him after the first 2 years, lol.
Let’s just say, I didn’t get pregnant on my honeymoon. Or by my first anniversary. Or second one.. Or third one.
“When are you having a baby”
“Why aren’t you pregnant”
“Are you pregnant yet”
Are words that made me cringe. Every time someone said that to me, my blood would boil and I would want to give them a piece of my mind (never good thoughts).
I didn’t understand why I was having such a hard time getting pregnant because I was 26 years old when I started trying, got regular physicals & pap smears, and was over all a “normal, healthy, women”.
I’ll skip details and times of heart aches because this is just a quick background so we can get to the happy and good stuff.
Some of you may have gotten pregnant super easily, others took time, and some of you still may be on a fertility journey right now (my positive thoughts and prayers are with you).
Either way, after lots of prayers, doctor visits, medical attention, diet changes, chakra, and mediums (lol) I WAS PREGNANT!
Ladies and gentlemen, one of the best feelings in the world to see that positive test. Another awesome feeling? When the pregnancy is healthy and it’s happening.
I have also been on the other side of that and it’s gut wrenching. For anyone who’s gone through miscarriages or pregnancies that need to be terminated, you’re not alone.
(Back to happy thoughts)
While spending a lot of time at home during my healthy pregnancy, I realized I wouldn’t change when I got pregnant for anything in the world. This was my time. This was MY baby. God made this baby just for me.
Pano is my now 2 month old baby boy who has brought my life so much more happiness. He brought colors back into my world that I didn’t know I was missing.
The first week of his life, I was watching tv and looked down at him and just started bawling. No, not post partum hormonal crying (which there is nothing wrong with but I didn’t get post partum hormonal feelings). I cried because I felt so HONORED & LUCKY I am his mom. I looked at him bawling and asked him, how will I EVER give back to you in your life time what you’ve already given to me? In one week, this child changed my whole entire life. And nothing will ever be the same as it was, I will never be who I was.
All the heart ache feels like another life time ago.
When someone asks you why you aren’t pregnant yet, keep your chin up, hopes high, smile & remind them that the timing is not up to you but you do trust in His timing.
Because when it happens for you, which it will happen for you, in one way or another you’ll forget about your days of trials and tribulations.
That’s a promise!
Find joy in all of your journey,