The Law Of Attraction (Mom Edition)

IMG_0635

I believe in the law of attraction. I think that what we put out into
the world, we get back. How we spend our time and who we are spending
it with is crucial. I am more aware of it now more than ever because
of being a parent. The energy I have around me will influence my son so I only want positive energy around us.
Every single little thing I do is teaching my son a lesson first hand. Even when I don’t realize it.
The best way for me to teach my son to be selective with his time and
his heart is going to be taught to him by my example.

Run, run, as fast as you can
from…
The Bitching Mom
The Jealous Mom
The Competing/comparing/Keeping Up With Mom
The Mom who makes you feel Guilty

I want mom friends who speak, act, and live positively about their
own families and other families. I want mom friends who are happy, confident, and kind.

I am inspired by moms who are just happy, loving, and helpful. I want
to inspire other moms with the same thing.

The energy you put out into the world is huge. Mostly for yourself and
your family.

If you’re unhappy, chances are you’ve brought this upon yourself but
the good news is, you can fix it very easily. I totally check myself
when I notice myself slipping into a negative place. And thank God, I
have some honest family members who tell me when I am as well. We are
human. It happens.

If there’s people in your life who bring out a negative and/or mean
side of you, get them out of your life. If you have somehow become
this person and know that it’s not your true self, have no fear, you
can change this. Dust yourself off and get back to a place
happiness and positivity.

The Bitching Mom
The mom who complains about mom like things are the moms who every
time you talk to them and say, “Hi, How are you?”…they respond with
how tired they are, how they have no time for anything, tell you how
they had so much to do. And guess what, they always have more to do
than you did, it was always harder for them than it was for you, and
you just have no idea. They usually say things like, “Must be nice”
when you tell them something positive (because they haven’t had
anything positive in their life in so long), “I remember when I used
to be able to do that” (because they’re busier than the POTUS
therefore they haven’t been able to even watch a TV show in years), or
“Those days are over”…because duh, they’re like older than your
great grandma.

Moms like this basically give me hives.The sad part is, when they actually really have something upsetting them, they may lose their support system because everyone’s burnt out from listening to their daily complaints.

The Fix: Hang around with moms who are POSITIVE. The mom that you see
and say, How are you? And they respond with, I’m good… I slept so
good last night and I feel so great today! or Everything is alright
and alright is good, no complaints here! The mom who usually has
something happy, funny, or nice to share with you and others. The
people who even when they could actually complain, choose not to.

Become the person who brings the positivity, the happiness, the
laughter, and the kindness. When you’re around people that aren’t
bringing you down, you will naturally become a person who’s more
positive and happy. You will bring more laughter and kindess back to
your family and others around you.

“You’re only as good as the company you keep”

The Jealous Mom
The jealous moms are dangerous because jealousy is a very ugly thing
that projects a lot of bad energy on you. When you bring these people
into your life thinking that they’re your friends it’s like the “wolf
in sheeps clothing”. This is not your friend, this is a frenemy. The
friend who doesn’t compliment you, that diminish your achievements or
gives you the wrong advice or opinion just to sabotage you bettering
your life is toxic. These jealous people around you are usually ones
to give backhanded compliments like, “You’re actually smarter than you
look”, “You really are nicer than people say you are”, “You look
beautiful! Like a different person”. BYE, girlfriend.
The mom friend who diminishes your achievements or strengths does this
because they’d rather choke on glass than tell you how wonderful you
are. People diminish your achievements with things like, “Well, that’s
easy to do when you only have one kid” or “Well, don’t get ahead of
yourself yet…you are at the easy part still. Wait til….” When this
happens to me, I just smile and nod but really I’m thinking…wait and
see, hater. They can’t tell you how impressed you are because they’re
too insecure or jealous of a person.
They will give you the wrong advice or opinion intentionally. When
these people offer you advice or an opinion, take it with a grain of
salt and move on. You already know that they’re not giving you the
right opinion or advice so don’t even ask them. In fact, I’d do the
opposite of what they say.

The Fix: Hang around with confident women who are just totally secure
with who they are. You don’t have to have friends who only live like
you do. But how ever they do choose to live, they are secure with it.
These people will never be jealous of you because they are so happy
with who they are themselves. They are your friends who walk in your
door and make you feel good, they make the space that you guys are in
feel good, they compliment you, they tell you the truth, they want to
see you be your best.

Be the person who spreads kindness to the people around you. Give genuine compliments. Share contacts. Help someone achieve a goal. Be the shiny bright light. There’s so much darkness in the world, what good is it if you’re the only light in the world? Light everyone up around you and make a positive bright world around your family again.

“Some people only hate you because of how much other people love you”

The Competitive, Comparing, Keeping Up with the Jones’s Mom
Ughhh…..
Your kid crawled before your neighbor’s kid did? Wow.
Your kid started talking at 11 months but your friends kid didn’t
start talking til 16 months? Cool.
The kid down the street just got a new bike so now you have to get
your kid a new bike that’s better? You’re the coolest mom ever.
Your kids are the only kids at school who have been to Disney World
every single year? Oh my goodness!
Their husband got them a new car so you must get a new car too, only
yours is going to be fully loaded and the newest model. Great!Blah, Blah, Blah.
This mom who competes, compares, and keeps up with the Jones’s is NOT
your problem. But you also don’t need to be around it. Not only are
you annoyed hearing her but everyone else is too. Most of these people
are people are filling a void. They’re missing something in their personal life and trying to buy their happiness. They have to prove something to the people around them with status and labels. They’re living an empty life. These people are only hurting themselves because they will drive themselves crazy
trying to compete with everyone, compare everything, and keep up with everyone and everything.

Delete them from your life. You don’t need someone who’s in a constant competition with you or comparing your lives every time you talk. You don’t need to show them something you’re proud of only to turn around and see they had to get it too but maybe an even better version to try and make yours look less.

The Fix: Expand your circle, meet new people, go new places. There are
women you can surround yourself with who do not want to compete with
you, they don’t want to compare everything, and they don’t need to
keep up with you. Be around when who are authentic and know what they
want, like, have, and don’t need to change that for anyone. These
people will then bring an authentic friendship to your life.

“When you compete with no one, no one can compete with you”
And remember the gifts you have in life that no one can compete, compare, or keep up with. The best gift of all, your kids, who no matter what, think you’re the number one mom in the whole wide world.
The mom who makes you feel guilty
These moms are just bored with their lives, unhappy in their marriage, miserable with themselves, just plain out mean or all of the above. 
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad because you still get a manicure, you go on date nights with your husband, send your kids off to their grand parents, or still get sleep. 
 
No one has no down time. Sorry if you get mad at me for saying it, mom life is busy and I’m sure it gets busier as kids get older and more involved in activities etc. but everyone has personal time. Quit acting so deprived. I say SHUT UPPPPP in my head over and over when fellow mom’s act like they didn’t even have time to tinkle. Maybe one mom goes to target and walks around for an hour when she gets out, I go get manicures. It’s something I’ve always done and always will. It makes me happy. If Date nights are important to you and your marriage, do it. You don’t need to explain to anyone what keeps your marriage alive and keeps the spark. Some couples may not need that, others do. You get a weekend to yourself to still enjoy your life doing adult things, cleaning your house with no one in your way, or running errands alone? What’s wrong with that? If you have the help, use it. Whatever makes you recharged and happy and hands on when you’re with your kids, do it. 
I tell peers that I still sleep great. Maybe better than ever (mostly because I went out too much pre-baby) and people’s jaws drop. HOW CAN YOU SLEEP? I never sleep good. I’m always thinking about my kids or worried or checking on them. Blah, blah, blah. 
I don’t know, I guess I’m a terrible mother. I put my son to sleep in his bassinet, watch a tv show or two, and go to sleep like a champ. 
 
Mom guilting is infuriating and not ok.
 
The Fix:  If you have mom friends who make you feel guilty about how you choose to live your best life (because I don’t know if you know or not, but you only have one life) tell them to hit the road. 
Keep people in your life who don’t make you feel guilty about the decisions you make for your own life and families lives. No one knows what’s better for their own life than YOU. 
Find the friends that when you say you need a manicure, they say, drop your kid off over here and go do that. 
The friends who will babysit for you to go on date night. 
The friends who say how nice that is that the kids grandparents are so present in their life and they’re so lucky to have them. 
The friends who say they’re so happy you’re sleeping well with a new baby. 
 
Be the friend who helps your friends manage their day easier. The friend who helps your friend while they go get some much needed “me time” in, whatever that is to them. The friend who babysits so they can go on a date with their spouse. Be the friend who just supports their friends and encourages them to do whatever they need to do to be happy. 
If you’ve become one of these moms and didn’t even realize it, we
forgive you girlfriend…but now get it together. Zip it about how
everything sucks are find SOMETHING to say that’s not depressing or
bitching.
Don’t be jealous of people around you, you’re great all on your own.
Don’t compare, compete, and keep up with others. If you can say your family and you are healthy, happy, and keeping afloat, you’re doing better than most people. Let that be enough.
Don’t make people feel guilty about living differently than you, you don’t have to understand it but you don’t need to judge it either.
Put out happiness, confidence, kindness, understanding, and love to others and you will attract those people. Distance yourself from friends who you’ve “grandfathered in” who have become a drag in your life that are living toxic. You’re not only doing this grand favor for yourself, you’re doing it for your child. 
When you make these happier changes, you’ll see a change in all the relationships around you. You will teach your children to attract the people they want in their life by being that kind of person. You’ll teach them that they can design their whole life to be however they want it to be. You wanna be happy? Attract happiness. You’re sick of living in an unhappy negative place? Declutter…clean your life up. It’s really that easy.
 
Is there something that you feel like you had to change to be in a more peaceful place as a parent? I’d love to hear about it. 
Find Joy in all of your journey,
Leanne, Spoiled Milk
Advertisements

Leave a Reply